Being Happy for Others

It's hard for me to be happy for others. Most people's first thought when someone accomplishes something would be congratulations or I am proud of you. My first thought is why you and not me? It's no geniuneness in me. Of course, I am nice and I say all the right things, but I literally stand there seething with envy or I sit there wallowing in my own pity. I don't deserve anything good. I know that, but it doesn't stop me from wanting it. It doesn't stop me from wanting to want good things for other people. I've been seeking the Lord. Trying to get my mind and heart right. Trying to count blessings. I felt like I was on the right path. I was seeing and feeling true progress. Sweet progress. But then one person after another were fulfilling dreams and prospering wildly. It became too much for my compassion tank to fill. Jealously started to rear its ugly head and now I am feeling a low that I haven't felt in a while. Lord help me.