Book Reflection: Do the New You by Steven Furtick

"If you are constantly working from the assumption that you need to become something that you are not, you'll never be happy with who you are today and you might die trying to produce something that was never put in you to begin with." (Furtick, pg.3)

This is my dilemma. For my entire life, I have been chasing the "future me." This me is a doctor, pillar of the community, and owns her own corporation. She is married with a huge family. She has a big house with lots of land and lots of close friends and her family is amazing. This future me is accepted and loved by all. She is finally happy after dealing with years of loneliness and "not enough" ness. The problem is the me I am right now doesn't have any of these things. I can't say my life is horrible because I'm truly blessed, but a part of me always thinks about this "future me" and how my life in this moment pales in comparison. Even now, I thinking of the ways I can go back to school and maybe become a doctor of some sort. In my mind I am breaking limitations, conquering fears, and being everything that I am meant to be, which is good. But in my heart, I question my motive. Am I still trying to prove my worth? Am I doing this for me or am I trying to impress others? Am I still striving, when I promised to cease? These were the same questions I asked myself in college when I was pre-med and decided to change course. Am I still chasing acceptance and this idealized version of contentment or happiness? It's a crossroad because I don't want to limit myself, yet I don't want to exhaust myself getting to a place and then realizing that I'm still not happy.